Divorce & Separation
Divorce can be a necessary yet costly endeavor. If you are a small portion of "amicably divorced" families that want a simple clean split, you can go down to the court, pay some fees, and sign some papers. If there are specific items and/or rights that you want, sometimes the traditional lawyer vs. lawyer scenario -which is extremely costly- can be your best option. But for everyone else, spending several or more sessions with a therapeutic professional, assisting in who gets what, and more importantly addressing who's life is going to change might actually be your best economical and morally sound option. In divorce mediation, most terms are agreed upon in the therapy office which eventually gets passed for brief lawyer review and court finalization. Collaborative Divorce is also another option that typically handles the delicate nuances of divorce which includes children, pets, and other unforeseen circumstances that employs a financial advisor, lawyers, and a therapist to the case. Although this practice can help advocate for a client along with providing therapeutic options, this practice has chosen not to offer standardized mediation or Collaborative Divorce options at this time.
Children and Divorce
How can the divorce rate be shrinking?-You Ask. Well, most recent statistics indicate that roughly 40% of couples these days chose never to get married in the first place. Whether you are for or against marriage, if you have children, then you know all too well that parenting is both a lifetime commitment and is probably considered to be one of your greatest achievements. Contracts can be annulled, people get divorced, couples separate, and often children are left to pick up the pieces. For parents, it's more than just Mommy and Daddy no longer love each other. It's Daddy isn't paying his child support, Mommy doesn't spend enough time with kiddo, the every other weekend arrangements, different schools, new environment, and the possibility way back in your child's mind that they are in some way responsible for the break up. It has been proven through studying child brain development in impoverished households that children's brain development can actually halt due to the stress hormone cortisol.
There is hope however; especially if you attempt to be proactive about getting your child the help you need. Therapists understand that generally nobody in particular is to blame for a relationship failing since love is not unconditional and with time people can and do change -especially with changes in their environment or circumstance-. If anything, therapists are proud and are impressed by parents showing up to their child's first session due to the fact that the therapist knows that the parent is placing their children's needs ahead of their own. Therapists can do what is called attachment repair, a series of interventions tailored towards once again developing and safe and secure environment for the child. The first step towards this repair is getting your children to talk about what happened and how they are feeling about the break-up. Easier said than done trust me. Either way, if you are still not sure about what to do, there is no risk in calling our office and asking for a free consultation. Things that we offer families afflicted by divorce include:
-Divorce Mediation Consultations
-and so on!